While gearing up for his next assignment—a 50 mile [81 kilometer] swim from Miami to Boynton Beach, Florida—Oddventures columnist Jim Thornton got some nerve-racking news from shark specialists.

Listen in as "Jimbo" loses his cool on Executive Editor Mark Jannot's voice mail.

Message 1: "Two Pieces of Jimbo"

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Marky boy, this is Jim, who is still in possession of his feet...I just interviewed the director of the international shark attack files at the University of Florida...He is very convinced that I should swim in a shark cage.

The mako is famous for...roaring straight up and just biting you in half with its razor-sharp recursive teeth. It happens so fast you can't see it...and pretty soon there are two pieces of Jimbo floating around...So please, give me a call.

Message 2: "Call Me—While I Have Feet."

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Mark, Jimbo here. Why don't I just ask you to glance down...and see if you still have feet. It's probably not something you worry about.

It looks like I actually might become a footnote in the history...I'm going to try to track down one [shark cage] that's been used by another distance swimmer from Australia, if it hasn't been disassembled...Please Mark, call me—while I have feet.

Message 3: "I'll Just Have to Wing It..."

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Hey Mark, Jim again. The shark cage that I was hoping to be able to borrow is in Cuba. So the guy is going to look around, he doesn't think there are any other ones that are suitable for swimming, because they have to be pretty big...Possibly I'll just have to wing it and hope to keep my feet...Anyway, I still want to talk.